Never Love, For it's disaster itself
by AnimeFreak-TrunksPan-Lover4evr
Summary: Sesshoumaru angered from losing who he believed was his first love lashes out in anger towards everyone, being only 17 and depressed, then a part of his life changes when he meets a young girl who becomes part of his life. RS later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Sesshoumaru angered from losing who he believed was his first love lashes out in anger towards everyone, being only 17 and depressed, then a part of his life changes when he meets a young girl who becomes part of his life. R/S later chapters

"_**Never Love, for it is disaster itself."**_

Sesshoumaru lay on his bed, his shirt unbuttoned and his long silvery hair spewed across his mattress. His hand slowly raised and rested on his head as he grunted and turned to his side, his perfect figure showing as his loose clothing clung to his skin lightly.

Rolling back over, memories flashed through his mind causing his face to change. He held his hand flat out in front of his face and he studied the lines.

Why… 

Sesshoumaru thought as he heard the faint sound of water dripping from the faucet. HE cringed.

Why… 

He questioned once more as he raked his slender but muscular hand through the top part of his hair.

Why… 

He though once more, just to see if his conscious would reply.

What did I do… 

He felt himself grow angry but sadden all to quickly…

_Why did you leave like that?_

He heard a knock at the door.

"Sesshoumaru you better hurry we don't want to be late." He heard his father say.

"I'm not going…" He said in a calm sadden voice which was not usual to hear from him.

"Do not be like this… I don't think she would like this." He said while giving one last cough and walking away.

Why…am I being tormented… 

Sesshoumaru slowly sat up. Buttoning up his shirt and cuffing his sleeve, he then stood up and tied his hair back. Walking towards the door he took a look at his room before walking out and felt a jolt of pain run through his chest as he slowly shut the door.

I-------------------------I

"Lord from heaven above, let this soul past through into your kingdom and allow her spirit to be free and not condemned in the depths of hell. Let her innocent soul lye among the many angels you have given freedom…" The pastor said as he waved his hand over the coffin.

"Let… her be free…" Sesshoumaru said quietly while wiping a hand over the top of the coffin.

Sesshoumaru paused as he felt a girl cling to his legs, her dress getting soaked from the rain, and her head leaning against his thigh.

"Oh Rin…" A woman called while grabbing her. "I'm so sorry sometimes she just has a big heart…" The woman said while pulling the sad little girl away.

"It's ok…" He said while looking at the little girl, tears wanting to spill from his eyes, but he could not let his weakness show.

"Her name's Rin… she is very kind. I've recently adopted her in hope of restoring her voice. She doesn't talk. I guess the adoption agency said when they got her at 5 that she was mute. Now she is 12 and she loves people so much." The lady said while standing next to Sesshoumaru. "So I am sorry that she couldn't ask if she could give you a hug.

"Oh…it's ok" He watched as she picked up a flower that had been drowned by the pouring rain, and gently shook the petals to remove the water. He watched as her little feet carried her towards him, her newly presentable gift in hand. Reaching him she smiled and held out the dying flower to him in hopes of bringing his mood back.

Sesshoumaru took the flower and slowly moved aside as he noticed he was blocking everyone else who wanted to set flowers on Satomi's coffin.

"Thank you…" He said to the girl, while grabbing her hand and bending down to eye level. He gently brought his mouth over to her ear and whispered something.

"Remember…" He said while walking away. The little girl stood there nodding her head as if she would obey her lord or master."

I----------------I

"NO LEAVE ME ALONE! I don't know who you are...Please leave me alone…" The girl screamed as she ran down the ally. "Please…oh my god I'm going to die." The woman said, just then tripping on a crack in the street.

_Slowly getting up she continued to scream as she felt a grab at her arm. Already limping from her sprained ankle, she tried to fight off the intruder. She screamed as she felt her self-thrown to the ground and her pants being ripped off._

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The woman screamed as loud as she could. 

"_Mommy…" A little girl said while hiding behind a near garbage dumpster. "Mommy…" The littler girls voice got louder. "_

_The little girl crouched there in fear as she watched her mothers screaming and crying continue. She began to cry as she noticed the man hit her followed by the removal of his own pants._

_She watched her mother lay there crying, not able to do anything. Tear came out of her eyes as she saw her mother look at her. "Stay there…" She saw her mother mouth._

The little girl hesitated shaking her head, only to stop as she saw the man stand up and pull out a gun.

"Thanks bitch, that was great…" The man said while smirking. The woman looked at her daughter once more before a loud shot was heard along the ally out into the main streets.

I-----------I

Sesshoumaru jolted up in bed. He began to pant slightly as he remembered the strange dream. "Mommy…" was the only word echoing in his head as he stared at his hands.

"Why do I have sick dreams like that…" He said while standing up. It had been a year since Satomi's death and he continuously dreamed about this little girl whose mother was being raped. Running a hand through his hair he sighed as he grabbed the image of Satomi from his nightstand.

Looking at her picture he smiled, but that smi8led soon turned into hatred as he remembered how she just left him like that.

"How could you leave me…" He said talking to the smiling image of the young woman. "HOW!" He said while slamming his fist into the nightstand.

"Why…." He said once more as he brought the image up to his chest and held it.

"Sesshoumaru?" He heard a voice through his door. "You have a visitor.

"Let him/her in" He said in a dull voice, as if the pain that was there never had been in the first place.

He paused as he watched a young girl walk in. "I…found you." Her voice was soft and sweet.

"You are?"

"Never Love, for it is disaster itself" She said while smiling at him.

"From the funeral…" He said while looking at her. "Rin, right?"

"Mm." She replied.

"So you are finally beginning to talk? He asked while buttoning up his newly found shirt.

"I have been for awhile. Ms. Harada helped me to speak again after my mothers death." She said while smiling.

"Why are you here?"

"You seemed so sad at the funeral and I was sad at my mother's funeral. I thought I'd try to cheer you up, but I was never able to find you till today." She said while wrapping her hands together and bowing respectfully.

"Cheer me up?" He slightly laughed mockingly. "How are you supposed to cheer me up?"

"I don't know but I like to make people happy. I know it may seem weird for you to do something with me as a friend because I am 13 and you're 18, but I want to be your friend. "Rin said sadly while looking to the ground.

"Yes you are too young. I have nothing of you that will interest me." He stated while rubbing the back of his neck.

"Please?" Rin said while looking out his window. "Just try once, it's sunny out and we could get ice cream."

Sesshoumaru stood there with a frustrated look on his face. "Maybe if I go with her once she will leave me alone…" He said to himself as she looked outside. "I guess we can go and get ice cream." He said in a lazy voice while walking out of the room followed by the joyful Rin.

I--------------------I

PARK

"What do you want?" Rin asked while walking up to the man at the ice-cream stand.

"Just get me something simple like one of those drum sticks." He said while walking up behind her.

"What will you have young lady?" The man asked while smiling at her.

"Two drumsticks" Rin said while pulling out her money.

"How much is it?" Sesshoumaru said while walking up to the ice cream stand.

"Three dollars." He said while handing Rin the Ice cream.

"Here keep the change." Sesshoumaru said while handing the man a Ten-dollar bill.

"Come on Rin lets go." He said after receiving his ice cream from Rin.

Rin smiled as she walked next to Sesshoumaru. "Thank you for paying, but I could've paid." Rin said while not watching where she was going, causing her to bump into something and dropped her ice cream.

Sesshoumaru stood there watching to see her reaction. He was surprised when she hadn't begun to complain. "I guess it's a treat for someone else now?" Rin said calmly while smiling and bending down. "I'll pick this up and throw it away." She said picking up the chocolate covering and the cone from the ground.

"Do you want this one?" Sesshoumaru asked, while handing her his unopened ice cream.

"No thank you." She said while smiling and wiping off her finger with a napkin. "Thank you for coming here with me today. I know it was one time but it made me happy to see you doing something, and you see at least a little bit of reaction out of you." Rin said while bowing. "Thanks again for the day."

"Thank you for the day." He said actually having liked the little time spent with her. "We will make a habit of this? He said questioning her.

"If you want." Rin said excitedly.

"The once a week we will get ice cream and do something else." He said, kind of regretting what he had just said.

"Alright big brother?" Rin said in a questioning like voice.

"Big Brother?" He said quietly.

"We can be like brother and sister?" She said while smiling. "Our new relationship, ok?"

"Alright…" He said while having to hold back this uncertain but happy feeling inside of him.

A/N: I had been messing around with this for a while… I don't know if it's any good but, it's a Rin Sesshoumaru that will eventually develope... she won't stay 13 forever. Every chapter she'll probably gain a year or two till she's about 18 –21 sometime.


	2. Chapter 2

A/n: Hi everyone here's the second chapter of my new story. Rin is still 13 in this chapter.

_**Friends**_

"Sesshoumaru! Today's your day with Rin! You have to pick her up from school at two. Remember Shikon High." His stepmother yelled across the hall trying to remind him.

Sesshoumaru sighed; he hadn't understood why he decided to start hanging out with Rin. He hated everyone of course; he just wanted to continue to sleep in his room. He wanted to fall into a deep sleep where he wouldn't ever wake, and the he would be able to see Satomi.

Looking at the time he noticed it was 1:30. Now he realized why Izayoi was yelling so loud. Getting up from his comfortable bed, he opened his drawer and grabbed a black button up shirt. Throwing it on he buttoned up the shirt but left three unbuttoned, he then rolled up the sleeves to his elbow. Not caring about his hair he left it hanging straight down.

Walking out of his room, he slowly walked towards the garage. Once arriving in the garage he walked towards his car that was given to him for his eighteenth birthday in hope of cheering him up.

Sitting down in the car, he started the engine, as he continued to wait for the garage door to open. After the door had opened he sped out of there leaving burn marks on the garage floor.

I-------------------------------I

"Class is dismissed." The teacher said, just then the bell rang.

"Bye everyone" Rin said to the many people who ignored her. "I will see you all on Monday!" Rin aid as she begin to walk out the front doors of the school.

"Rin you need to shut up. You're weird…" A boy said while shoving her to the ground. "I'm sorry…" Rin said while picking up her stuff.

Sesshoumaru on the other hand had been leaning against his car on the verge of telling the little middle school girls to quit googling at him. Looking at the time on his watch he realize it was 2:01. Looking ahead just then, he saw Rin being pushed to the ground.

Standing up, his figure showing more, he began to hear more talk about him. Trying not to pay attention he begin to walk over to Rin and the guys and girls surrounding her.

"You geek… you're strange!" another girl said while pulling on her hair. "Wait you're not a girl… you're a boy…" She laughed while pushing her where her young undeveloped breasts were beginning to form.

"Rin." Sesshoumaru said in his commanding like voice. This had caused most of the people who were not facing him to turn around. "Let's go, you don't need to be around these lower life's…" He said while grabbing the crying girls hand. Rin wouldn't move so he slowly bent down and picked her up. "Just remember I'm your friend." He said loud enough for everyone in the group to hear.

"I'm sorry… Sesshoumaru. I must be really annoying." Rin said to him quietly. "I just wanted friends, and I thought by being nice I would get some." She said as he set her down in the passenger seat.

"It's ok…" Sesshoumaru said unsure if it were ok or not.

"Thanks for helping me big brother." Rin spoke to him with a happy voice.

"No…No Problem." He said, having to get used to the fact of being called brother.

He paused as he felt her give him a kiss on the cheek, and a hug. "Let's go hang out now." Rin said happily as she strapped herself in.

"Ice cream right?" He said while getting in on the other side.

"Yeah ice cream! Could we do something else?" Rin asked nicely while playing with her hair.

"Alright kiddo." He said, finding those words weird coming from his mouth. "Where do you want to go?"

"Let's go see a movie!" She touched his should and smiled. "We could see that new scary one. You know with the demons." She said gaining some interest in Sesshoumaru.

"You like scary movies?" He said beginning a questioning frenzy.

"Of course, I watched some of those old ones from America, like Freddy, Jason, the one with Michael. I've also watch from here lots of them too, but I love anime the most. I love manga too. What do you like?"

"Me… I like scary, depressing things. I like to see people die in movies. I like anime, but only if it's action. I'm not much of a romance person." He said while raking a hand through his hair, and feeling his heartache a little. "So what kind of food do you like?"

"I like pasta's" Rin said while grinning.

"I do too…" He noticed having many things in common with this young friend of his.

"Sesshoumaru when's your birthday?"

"September 25th 1986. And you?"

"August 19th 1991."

"Your birthday's has already passed?" He questioned

"Mmm" She replied

"We'll have to go and find you something. Here we're at the ice cream shop. You wait here I'll be right back." He said, doing just so and arriving back under a minute. "Here you go."

"Thank you big brother!"

"You can call me Sesshoumaru, you know that right?"

"Yeah. Sesshoumaru."

"Alright let's go to the movies…" Sesshoumaru looked at his watch, he didn't know why he was planning thing after thing when all he wanted to do was go home. Looking over to Rin's happy face he only wished he could be the one who was happy.

He wished that Satomi were the one right next to him. He wished that she were the one having ice cream with him and going to the movies. He wished he were buying gifts for her not for this little girl he barely even knew.

Slowing down as they arrived to the movies, he found a parking spot and quickly parked his car. He watched as Rin got out and stretched, slowly getting out himself he yawned as he noticed a sign posting that the new scary film was sold out for today.

He noticed Rin upset face slowly turn into a grin as she pointed to the romance one. Sesshoumaru hadn't cared, he'd been drug into them too many times by Satomi, how much of a difference would it make. Walking up to the front the purchased there tickets and walked in.

"Ok these will be to your right in auditorium 7" The man who was ripping ticket stated.

Sesshoumaru waited for Rin to start walking to her right, but instead she started to walk to her left. He slowly followed her until he noticed the heading of the movie they were walking into.

"Rin what are we doing?" Sesshoumaru asked as they begin to walk into the scary movie.

"It's may be sold out but, they never completely sell it out. They always have about 2-6 extra seats. We're going to watch the movie. I don't want to watch the romance movie…" She said wile grinning in the almost dark room full of people. "Hurry!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him into a seat next to her.

"I'm actually kind of enjoying this." Sesshoumaru said to himself, he knew if he would of said that out loud he would of hurt Rin's feelings.

"Ok, ok it's coming on!" Rin said while grabbing his arm. "I like scary movies, but they scare me big brother."

"Rin…" Sesshoumaru said only receiving an mmm out of her. "Do you want to hang out more than once a month, more like once a week or every other week?"

"Yeah that would be great big brother." She said while giving him a hug. "You my best friend Sesshoumaru." Rin said while slowly turning towards the movie and leaning against him to cover her eyes at certain parts.

I-------------------I

"And then there was that part where that face flash…I'm sorry if I…I gripped you too hard. I love the thrill! I Love it!" Rin said while dropping her purse and the contents falling out.

"Here let me get that." Sesshoumaru said while bending down.

"Thank you…I'm so excited this was so much fun" Rin said being more talkative then ever.

"Who's this?" He said while picking up a picture with a younger her and someone else.

"Oh…that's my mother." Rin said while looking down to the ground. "She died… I can't remember what happened, all I remember was the doctors saying something about I was locking it away. It must've been bad. I was about 6 when she died though." Rin said quietly while taking the photo from his hand slowly and putting it in her purse.

"That's why you were adopted by Ms. Harada."

"Yeah, she's really nice though, she's a good adopted mother. She's the only one who was willing to adopt me and give me a home. I remember some of when was younger. I know I lived on the streets. That's why when I came to the orphanage no one wanted me because I might have sicknesses, but it's ok I can understand. It's hard to be loved or to love in return. I can never love Ms. Harada the way I loved my mother. Nor could you love someone more than you loved that person who died a year ago, but you can always gain a friendship that can help you through that suffering. Ms. Harada is my friend and you are my friend and that's all I want is friends. Ms. Harada is giving me a good life."

"Satomi…"

"The one at the funeral last year?" Rin said while grabbing his hand.

"Yeah…"

"Let's go now. It's getting late and I need to get home or Ms. Harada will worry."

"Alright."

"Thank you for the day again." Rin smiled.

"No thank you…Rin." Sesshoumaru said bending down to her level and giving her a hug. "We will hang out once a week." He smiled for the first time in a year.

I------------------------------------I

A/n: man I'm too lazy to write but I keep writing lol. I tell my self no more new stories, but the damn things pop in my head and there is nothing I can do to stop it.


	3. Chapter 3

A/n: I don't know why I'm updating so fast but I am . so be happy.

I-----------------------------------I

"Ms. Harada I turn 15 in a couple of weeks. What are we going to do?" Rin asked nicely while turning towards her adopted mother. "I mean I don't really want to do anything, because Sesshoumaru agreed to take me somewhere for my 15 birthday." Rin began to walk over towards the kitchen. "Is that ok?"

"Oh yes honey it's fine, I just want you home at a sensible time and want Sesshoumaru to come so you two can have some of the birthday cake I will be making you." She said while receiving a hug from Ms. Harada.

Running to her room she plopped onto her bed while opening her drawer at the same time. Pulling out a diary she began to write words.

_She let me go! My 15th birthday I get to spend with my, the man that I love! Can you believe it? When he asked me to ask about hanging out with him on my birthday, I was so happy. I know my real mother is watching over me and trying to make everything good for me. Thank you mother. I know Sesshoumaru can never love me more than a sister, but being loved at all it good enough for me._

Rin close her journal and stuffed it back in the drawer and made her way down stairs to where her adopted mother was. "Ms. Harada?" Rin asked while turning the corner. "Can I go to the café down in town?"

"You want me to give to a ride?"

"Y…no that's ok I just want to walk there. I might see a few kids I know from school there and it is a Friday night." Rin smiled while walking away to get her shoe and coats on.

I-----------------------------------I

"Coffee." The man said while handing out a 20-dollar bill. "Keep the change…" He said while running a hand through this long silver hair.

"Yes, Sesshoumaru sir." The café worker said. "Same as usual?"

"Yes." He said calmly but somewhat irritated.

"Sesshoumaru!" Rin said while running up to his booth. "Hi how are you!"

Sesshoumaru looked up to see the girl he hadn't seen in 4 months because of his travels with his father. Smiling at her he motioned for her to sit down. Which she gladly did, Looking at her he noticed she had grew in height and body structure a lot over just 4 months.

"Sesshoumaru how's your travel with your father." Rin said while leaning on the table her arm propped on the table making her young but developed breast push up just slightly, enough to show some cleavage.

"Put this on." Sesshoumaru said while handing her a coat. "It's cold even in here."

"Thanks, Rin said oblivious to the fact that Sesshoumaru was just trying to get her to move out of that position.

"So what did you do on your travels?" Rin asked quietly while smiling to the man that came up with coffee for Sesshoumaru.

"Rin did you want anything." Sesshoumaru asked her quickly.

"Um… Can I have a glazed donut and a carrot?" Rin said getting a weird stare from the man. "Oh yeah my drink I want a cola."

"Miss, you asked for a carrot right?" He said repeating that part of her order.

"Yeah, if you don't have any then it's fine. I just like carrots a lot." Rin said while picking up her purse to show the carrot design on it. "You see?" She said while giving him a big smile. "I don't need the carrot just give me two donuts and a cola." Rin began to search in her person before she stopped the waiter. "How much will that be?" She said unsure if she had enough money.

"Miss don't worry, it's paid for." He said while walking away. The next thing you heard was and "Ouch" From Sesshoumaru as Rin hit him.

"I though I told you not to continue to pay for me like this. I have my own money." She said while crossing her legs and turning her head.

"I'm and old man… it's bee 4 months I can remember this like that." He said earning another slug. "Ouch!" He said while rubbing his arm.

Sesshoumaru paused as he got a slight hit of déjà vu. He rubbed his arm, remembering when Satomi used to hit him for the same exact reason. Running a hand through his hair he shook the memory from his head. Looking at the young lady in front of him he smiled.

"So your birthday is in…"

"9 days!" Rin smiled knowing that, that was her day with Sesshoumaru. "Sesshoumaru it's going to be so much fun. "Can you tell me where we are going to go?"

Sesshoumaru sat up while pulling down his tie a little and unbuttoning his shirt a bit. Pulling at the bottom of his shirt, he untucked it. "We will be going somewhere nice, I would take you next year but next year is your Sweet Sixteen" He said those last two words with a slur."

"Oh who cares?" Rin laughed while touching his hand.

"Your adopted mother does." Rin felt a squeeze on her hand. "Rin you've been such a good friend these past couple of years, so for your birthday I've decided to take you to a nice place and dine you out." He said in a suave like voice. "Rin I Love you like a little sister, and nothing will change that. You don't see most brothers treating there little sister out, but I will treat you out." He said while patting her hand as her two glazed donuts and soda arrived.

Rin felt her mood fall just slightly when he said that he would only love her for a sister, which had confirmed her journal entry. "SO…………… you want me to dress nice?" She questioned.

"Yes…"

"Ok, hey I'm going to take these and go home now ok?" Rin said getting up in a hurry.

"Here let me give you a ride?" Sesshoumaru said while getting up about to follow her.

"No that's ok." He heard sadness in Rin's voice, which confused him.

I---------------------I

"I'm home!" Rin said waling into the kitchen to see the kitchen clean and most of the house lights off. Looking towards the answering machine she saw the message light beeping.

"Hello Rin this is Samantha Smith from Washington state in the United States." The woman said in English, Rin understanding every word. "I heard about your honor role graduate fro English glass in merely # months and have pulled together with a few of my co workers to send you to America on a honorary Learning program for 4 years. If you would like to do this give us a call at 1-800-892-4713. We will be waiting for your call."

"United States." Rin looked over to the picture of her and Sesshoumaru on her 14th birthday. "You're my very best friend Sesshoumaru, but maybe if you miss me you'll care about me more." Rin said out loud to her self while giving the photo a kiss.

"We can call her in the morning." Ms. Harada said understanding Rin's pain.

"Ok…"

I---------------------------------------------------------I

"Rin, you look great today." Sesshoumaru said while pulling out her chair for her and pushing it back in. Walking around the table to his own seat, he himself sat down.

"This is a very nice place." He heard the soft sadness in Rin's voice. "How can I tell him I leave tomorrow?" Rin said to herself.

"So how's your week been, up till your birthday."

"Very stressful." Rin said playing around with the Ring Sesshoumaru had given her for her 14th birthday.

"How so?" He questioned calmly.

"Events that just keep building and having to hold all those events until a certain time." Rin said gaining a nod from him.

"What kind of events." He said knowing something was about to go wrong.

"I'm moving." Rin said softly while looking down and continuing yo play with her ring. "To America on study tomorrow."

"WHAT?" Sesshoumaru said while standing up, he quickly looked around and then sat back down. "What do you mean?" He said in a whisper to her.

"I said I'm moving to America to study. I got a scholarship there to one of there schools." Rin said feeling like crying.

"Well if that's what you want…" She heard slight anger in his voice.

"You can visit, or I can try to visit."

"How long?"

"How ever long you like…"

"No how long are you going to be gone?"

"Four years…" She flinched as she felt a slam on the table. "Don't worry Sesshoumaru I'll write you and tell you if I'm ok." She said feeling his anger.

"Everyone Leave me, no matter what."

"I'm not leaving you, I'm not going to die…I'm just going to America."

"Yeah maybe I'm over reacting…" He said leaning back in his chair.

He sighed when he felt Rin's arms wrap around him. "Sesshoumaru I love you for being my very best friend. I thought you would support my going to a great school. I will be back and we can catch up then, friendship never dies unless you doubt it." She grabbed his face and gave him a kiss on the lips. "Remember my friendship kiss." Rin smiled at his shocked face.

"Remember my gift to you." He said coming out of his shock state and hanging her a gift.

Rin opened it up to find a locket with a beautiful designing on the front that said best friends forever. Opening it up she saw the image of her on one side and Sesshoumaru o the other. "Thank you…" Rin said letting a tear fall down her face.

"You won't forget this handsome face while you're gone now right?" He said jokingly to cheer her up. "Maybe this will make you feel better." You're the only person now that I show this side of me to. I hate everyone else…even my family. The only reason I move around everyday is because of you, my friend." He said while lifting the locket up and hanging it around her neck. 'I will wait for out friendship 4 years from now." He said giving her a slight kiss on the cheeks. "I love you Rin, as your big brother and I care for you so be careful in America."

I-------------------------------I

A/n I'm on a role woo who.


End file.
